Where Did I Go Wrong
by anonymous-unknown
Summary: Post 6x20 One-Shot. Even in knowing that Castiel was wrong, that his intentions were good but his actions were not, Dean can't still but feel somewhat responsible for the angels mistakes. For the choices he's made that led him to this.


**Authors Note:** Well I've had this idea for a couple of days now after the watching the preview constantly and now that I've seen the episode I am pretty much floored, depressed and sobbing. After all that I decided to just write this as a POV from Dean and this was the result. A friend of mine has a written a beautiful one shot in regards to this episode as well that I firmly recommend. "Death, Forgiveness, Family" by vampireluvr 15. It sure had me in tears and believe me, it is worth the read.

**Written: **05 May

**Soundtrack:** How to Save a Life by The Fray

**Word Count:** 800+

**Category:**Dean W./Castiel

**Content:** NO SLASH. (God knows I read it though.) Violence and adult language. (Just warning those in advance who wish not to read such material.)

**Disclaimer: **Obviously, I do not possess any legal rights to anything to do with this series especially its characters. I'm sure we are all aware of that but this fact must always be noted due to this websites guidelines.

**Genres:** Drama, Angst, Friendship, Family

**Characters:** Dean Winchester, Castiel

**Rating:** K+

**Title:** Where Did I Go Wrong

**Author: **anonymous-unknown

**Summary:** 6x20 One-Shot. Even in knowing that Castiel was wrong, that his intentions were good but his actions were not, Dean can't still but feel somewhat responsible for the angels mistakes. For the choices he's made that led him to this.

"_Guilt is regret for what we've done. Regret is guilt for what we didn't do."_

Unknown

ooo

"_Where were you when I needed to hear it?_"

Those words struck Dean so deeply that they wouldn't let him be. He knew the angel was right. Even though he could have asked for his help, after everything the two of them had been through, he had to find out from his two remaining family members that his angel was deceiving them.

"Where did I go wrong?"

Castiel was fighting a war. Was working with a demon. Had raised his brother from perdition without his soul but still, he claimed to have done it all for him. For them. Simply because they deserved a chance at happiness.

Did that make him a fool?

Knowing that he was asked to live an apple pie life without demons, without angels, without hunting if it were at all possible. No Heaven. No Hell. No nothing. Just Lisa and Ben and he all together and living a normal, monster free life. It was all he wanted. It was all Dean needed. That's what he would tell himself since that day.

Now, he wasn't so sure.

"Where did I go wrong?"

Simply because he was stuck in his own guilt, his own sorrow, his own obsession with losing Sam. Never once did he even think about Castiel. What was going on with the angel. What he had been dealing with. What choices he was making now that he had found free will.

Maybe that is where it started. Maybe that was his mistake.

The moment he had said those few word to him, caused him to change his mind. To hunt, to rebel, to do all of it for him. Maybe that, was the moment Dean changed Castiel's path forever.

"_If there is anything worth dying for, this is it."_

Dean shook his head as he recalled those immoral words. He meant for it to be a stand, to show the angel the truth, if not a step in the right direction. But never once did he consider the true consequences they would bring. The events that would come to pass.

He just wanted him to see what he could do. The choices he could make. The person he could become. He just wanted to show him the right direction.

Or what he thought was the right direction.

"Dammit God, _where_ _did I go wrong_?"

Now, the angel was falling. Deeper and deeper into his own hole, which he himself had dug and Dean thought that he had started. By simply providing the shovel the angel did as he pleased. Did what he wanted. Did what he thought was right. And now it had led him to this.

Castiel was not just his friend, but his family, his brother and now Dean wasn't so sure. He didn't know what to think or what to feel or what to believe but he did know one thing. Castiel had chosen this path, because of him. Because of Dean. Because he acknowledged him to follow what he thought was right. And in the end Dean realized that mistake.

Perhaps it was simply misleading, manipulation or downright stupidity that led him to his point. To look back and see. To look back and ask himself.

He had always thought that the worst he would ever see his friend was with a half mad grin and a broken look in his eyes but now, Dean didn't know what was actually better. The Castiel who had fallen and had become a drug addicted, sex crazed, monster hunting human. Or the Castiel who had now forged an alliance with the King of Hell and had lied about it to him.

The one person whom he thought would never change and never betray him, had showed him different. Sure, his intentions were good but his actions were anything but and Dean knew that no matter how much he tried to justify them, how much he wanted to give Castiel the benefit of the doubt he simply couldn't deny it.

The angel had saved him. Had helped him. Had gripped him tight and raised him from perdition because God had commanded it. Because God had work for him. Now that it was over Dean could do nothing but ponder his next move.

He had spent his whole life saving people. Always for the sake of those he loved, he would sacrifice it all and in the end there was always another slap in the face or another punch in the gut.

This one, this one was probably the hardest of all yet.

The angel had saved him. And now he had but one final thought as he looked up towards the Heavens and wondered what Castiel was doing at that moment. This time his prayer would be different. This time his prayer, would be for him.

"_How do I save you?"_

**THE END**


End file.
